Ugh, welcome, August! School is right around the corner, I know, I hate to remind you because then I remind myself. Whether you’re a senior in high school, a senior in college or anywhere in between, there’s one thing that I know is on your mind. What are you going to do with your life? It’s weird because it seems like just yesterday I was starting college. Now, I’ve only got a year and a half left and I know that in the blink of an eye, it’ll all be over.
I’ve enrolled myself in summer courses every year since starting college. I wanted to constantly be checking classes off of my list in order to finish faster. Yes, I voluntarily put myself through hell for ten months out of the year. Despite doing this, I still don’t know what I want to do. The only thing I do know, is that I want to be done.
Ever since we were young, we learned about different career paths. I wanted to be a doctor, lawyer, singer, and a fashion designer. As I grew up, those things changed. The schooling for a doctor and lawyer was too long and I found out that blood makes me queasy. Yeah, I almost fainted and my ears started ringing in first grade after a paper cut. Hannah Montana inspired me to sing because I could live a double life and still be able to be normal. No luck because I suck at singing. Fashion? I can’t draw a stick figure to save my life. Then I got nervous. If I’m not good at any of these things, then what am I good at?
I’ve seen so many people in college freaking out because they don’t know what to do. Failing classes, dragging out their semesters and not admitting that in reality they are scared. They think they are failures because their counterparts know exactly what they are doing once they graduate AND they have their five year plans. Meanwhile, I can’t even tell you what I’m having for dinner tonight.
There’s been such a huge emphasis on finishing college and getting that dream job ever since we were young. If you do everything right, you should be done with school by 22, obtain that dream job, live on your own, be independent, whatever. I think we all know it doesn’t turn out like this. At least I’m fully aware that not everyone gets lucky enough to do exactly what they want at first.
To be honest, it’s pretty crazy to me that people actually expect those in their 20s to know exactly what they want in life. Do I want to get a decent job after school and then start “the rest of my life” which is technically working until I die? I mean, 8 or 9-5 job, come home, eat, watch some tv, get ready for bed, start all over. That’s not living. I want to do something that I’m absolutely in love with. You know how they say that it’ll never feel like work if you love what you do? I want to get up every morning and get lost in time. In fact, I wish that for everyone. At the end of this life, I don’t want to regret that I took more pay over chasing a dream. Whatever that dream might be.
In all this mess of a post, my point is that you’re not alone. It would be cool to dip your toes in a bunch of different pools right now. If you don’t like what you’re doing, quit. Eventually, you’re going to find your passion as long as you’re not waiting for it to jump out at you and yell “YOU’RE GOOD AT THIS!”. Everyone takes on life at different speeds and it’s taken me so long to realize this. I’ve had to let go of everything I’ve been conditioned to believe and realize that it doesn’t make you a failure of society if you don’t have it all together. Realize that you’re not lost, you’re young and finding your way; and this is only the beginning!